“I’m trying to see the good intentions, but call me blind because I don’t see any,” the anonymous woman says before revealing how things went so terribly wrong for her.
A woman is wondering if she is in the wrong after being accused of being ungrateful for her surprise birthday party. The shock was definitely that, but not at all what the girl expected.
Shared with Reddit’s notorious AITA (“I am the hole”) discussion forum, the girl’s story details everything that happened that day that led her to become so emotionally distraught that she gave up after 5 minutes.
Keep reading to see the full story and how Redditors reacted.
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OP (aka “exclusive poster”) started her Reddit story by first revealing how emotionally distraught she was about her situation.
“I’ve been crying for hours yesterday and now, getting messages about how ungrateful I am. This just doesn’t make sense to me. I’m trying to see the good intentions, but call me blind because I don’t see any,” she started her thread before sharing her story with birthdays and how she never had a party for herself.
“I’ve never had a birthday party or dinner, and it’s something I’ve always wanted, but I don’t know why I always thought it was impossible in my adult life. I was talking to my friend and telling her how my family never celebrates birthdays because my dad is admittedly spiritual and how I always feel alone on my birthday,” she continued, before adding. It was her friend who inspired her to go out and host her own birthday party, now that she is an “adult”.
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“I planned a birthday dinner at a fancy restaurant and told everyone that as long as they saved less than $35, I would pay for it. So, I made sure to work off the schedule for three months in advance because I heard that there is always a fight about the invoice, so I didn’t want that to be a fight on my birthday. I invited 12 people who said they would come (family and friends, who hug my mom now that my dad is dead; she’s not super spiritual for some reason),” she said.
In addition to being eager to pay for her guest list, OP even went to the trouble of getting her “nails, makeup, and hair professionally done.”
“I just wanted to look really nice, and I’ve actually only been to formal events like three times in my life, so I felt comfortable being able to dress up once,” she explained.
After that, the birthday celebration began…
The waiter felt really bad because I was crying while on the phone with someone I considered my friend, telling me that she wasn’t coming to get me and that even if I didn’t order a meal, he gave me a free birthday slice.
“I arrived for dinner, sat at my desk and waited 2 hours, and I kept getting calls from people telling me they were working late and couldn’t come in anymore. And after two hours, everyone finally told me they weren’t coming. They didn’t tell me before dinner; everyone let me know at the time of booking or later,” she said.
“The waiter felt really bad because I was crying while on the phone with someone I considered my friend, telling me that she wasn’t coming to pick me up and that even though I hadn’t ordered a meal, he gave me a free birthday slice. I didn’t even take any photos of my outfit because I assumed someone would help take them for me at the restaurant, and when I left the restaurant, my makeup was ruined,” said OP, clearly devastated by the therapy her associates gave her.
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“My mother called me at my method house and asked me to stop by her house because she had a gift for me. She says she’s sorry she didn’t come, but she was feeling extremely bad and wanted at least one gift. I’m going to her house and I open the door in shock, and people see that my face was disheveled because I was crying, then someone says, ‘Ah, she thought we forgot her,’ and I get a look at the 12 that were invited to my dinner and I’m just unhappy that they exchanged what I needed for my birthday for this. They left me trapped and humiliated in a restaurant for hours. I left the surprise event after five minutes and just advised my mother to keep the story to herself,” she said, ending her story.
Finally, the OP asked to hear the opinion of the public court, the Internet: “I’m sorry, but AITA, because I don’t see a good intention here, am I exaggerating??”
With over 400 comments at the time of writing, it is clear that the web is not no Imagine the OP is wrong, with Reddit giving its official NTA (“Not the A-hole”) stamp on the OP’s post.
In the most upvoted comment, a Redditor told OP that her family and friends “disregarded” what OP really wanted for her birthday.
“You decide what you required to your birthday. Your family and friends completely disregarded this, lied to you, and made you feel ignored and unwelcome on your birthday. They could have had the best of intentions, but this opens the way to hell,” the comment read. “In the long term, it is not intentions that matter, but results. If they had done this another day, things would have worked out fine. Alternatively, they left you alone and feeling unwelcome. Under no circumstances, shape or kind are you responsible here.”
Another responded to the comment sharing their confusion: “I just don’t understand how they thought this would be a good idea.”
This turned out to be a typical theme across all the responses.
“Yeah, I can’t understand why they thought it was a good idea to leave OP trapped in the restaurant. OP had already told everyone that dinner would be on her. Simply thoughts of incomprehensible stupidity and insensitivity. OP, I’m so sorry your first birthday party was so wild,” wrote another.
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One Redditor got psychological, sharing their thoughts on how OP’s mother is responsible in the situation saying she wanted “control.”
“It seems to me that it’s a total control thing. Mom can’t allow OP to make her look bad by allowing OP to give herself the things her parents should have given her as a child,” they began. “So she plans a celebration ‘for OP’ so she can look like the hero, but she does it in a way that she knows will result in great suffering. Because she wants OP to know that she is still in charge and can damage something OP loves with one word.”
OP even responded to one of the comments that called the actions of OP’s mother and friends “heartless.”
“NTA. You plan a surprise event when the guest of honor doesn’t have the rest planned, you don’t purposely make them feel abandoned so you can surprise them. Their intentions don’t matter because what they did was completely heartless,” they wrote.
To this sentiment, OP responded, “Exactly, in my entire life I have never celebrated my birthday or received recognition on the day and my mother chose the birthday, I want to have fun, because when she wants to give me a shocking birthday.
What do you suppose?
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