One person asks if he was wrong for his actions after his new sister-in-law threatened to put the newlyweds “in the crosshairs” if they shared wedding photos with her on social media.
An unnamed man is taking to the court of public opinion — the internet — to find out if he was wrong for cutting his sister-in-law out of his wedding photos.
The 28-year-old took to Reddit notorious AITA (“Am I the A–hole”) discussion forum to see if he was wrong after his response to the way his sister-in-law — who was a maid of honor — treated his 27-year-old bride.
The OP (aka “the original poster”) laid out the connection the two sisters have, his unfavorable opinion of the wedding photos, and the way he seemingly made things worse with his shady attempt to handle the situation.
Read on to find out what happened.
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“My husband (27F) and I (28M) recently got married and it was amazing. The wedding was on a farm by the river and then we did outdoor photoshoots in the fields before the ceremony,” OP began, before giving some backstory that led to his current situation.
“We started taking pictures around noon and my sister-in-law (30F) was one of the many bridesmaids,” he shared, explaining that his sister-in-law and his wife are very “totally different” and how he “assumed my sister-in-law was included in her bridesmaid group to appease my wife’s parents.”
“SIL has always been a mean person since I met her, always trying to make little critical comments, while my wife is a very kind person,” OP stated.
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“As a result, SIL and my wife were never very close, she was at the back of the bridesmaid line and was often on the edges of group photos. While taking photos, SIL was the only person complaining about things like the sunny weather and how her dress was ‘absorbing heat,’” OP continued, before adding that on her wedding day it was “about 70°F.”
“Most people in the photoshoot group ignored her feedback and it wasn’t an issue for the rest of the day.”
When the photos arrived back here from the couple’s photographer, OP stated that they shared the photoshoot with their bridal party and everyone involved in the photoshoot. They then stated that they were planning to use the photos on social media. While many people received feedback back to them thanking the couple for the photos, SIL did not have the same response.
“My sister-in-law was known as my wife and she was very offended, yelling that she ‘looked like a fat pig’ in every photo she was in and demanding that we not use any of the photos with her in them. For context, sister-in-law is bigger than my wife, but not by a huge amount. She doesn’t look sickly and I’ve never heard her have any physical issues before, but I admit I don’t know much about it. In the wedding photos, she really doesn’t look any different from her normal self,” the OP explained.
Since my SIL and my wife were never very close, she was at the back of the bridesmaids line and was often on the edges of group photos.
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While his wife tried to reason with her sister by saying she looked “pretty,” she apparently “didn’t want to hear it.”
“She reiterated that if we used any of her photos on social media, she would never communicate with us again and would ‘put us on notice’ no matter what that meant. My wife was really hurt by her sister’s outburst and I was really bothered that she thought she could tell us what to do with our second special,” the OP stated.
The two even wanted to share photos of their special occasion online, which led to some questionable habits on the groom’s part.
“Here’s where I’m going to be the jerk: I made a decision that if she had that issue, she shouldn’t be in the photos. I cropped her and posted these variations on social media. I believed it would be high quality and simple since she was on edge anyway. After posting it, she then called me even angrier than before and accused me of trying to ‘erase her from the memory of the wedding,’” he continued.
“I informed her that I did this only to accommodate her needs while also being able to use our personal wedding photos. SIL hasn’t spoken to us in a week, my wife’s parents are mad at us for upsetting SIL. While my wife is on my side, she feels I could have been more mature about it. I don’t think I did anything wrong and accommodated her already unreasonable request,” he concluded, before asking, “So am I the asshole?”
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While Reddit gave the OP the official “Not the A-Gap” badge, over 685 comments were left beneath its post, with the highest having over 12,000 upvotes.
“NTA. You probably did exactly what she asked! Was she expecting you to just not post any photos from YOUR wedding ceremony?” the consumer wrote before OP wrote back: “I believe she thought I would only post photos where she wasn’t initially included, but I don’t like the principle that she thinks she will be able to tell us what to post and what not to post if it doesn’t include her.”
Another commenter said it was a “blessing” that SIL wasn’t talking to them.
“NTA. Her habits here may be exactly why your wife chose her as her maid of honor… she would have complained loudly to everyone about something she clearly didn’t need to do in the first place. Your wife needs to learn that it’s not her responsibility to deal with her sister’s negativity, because it will never change, it will only drag her down. Isn’t SIL talking to you guys? Sounds like a blessing to me!”
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Another questioned what SIL thought the couple would do with the photos.
“NTA. What the hell did SIL think you were going to do, burn the negatives? Have a re-do of the wedding ceremony when she feels better about herself? Photoshop her head onto Zendaya’s body?” they demanded. “She needs to have it both ways, she needs to have the drama, she needs to be the star of her spouse’s special occasion. Ignore her.”
One commenter focused on the OP’s wife’s feedback regarding her husband and added that they think she should “put her foot down with her parents.”
“NTA. What the hell does your spouse mean, you could have been more mature? In what way? You probably did precisely what SIL demanded. Simply because her little plan to stop you from posting too much of her footage backfired, that is NOT your fault. You were not rude or unforgiving, you posted footage without her in it. She owes you an apology for trying to place any blame for this on you,” the commenter wrote. “Your wife should also put her foot down along with your parents. They are simply responsible for this mess by coddling SIL and berating your wife for ‘annoying’ her. I assume this is a pattern that repeats itself throughout your life. Well, nothing more. SIL owes you both an apology, and until she does, go to LC along with her. And the parents should be warned that they may be in LC as well if they do not graduate.”
What do you think?