Regina Rei is opening up for the first time about the death of his son, Ian, in January 2022, and the path of grief and healing she has walked since.
In a new interview with Robin Roberts On Thursdays Good Morning AmericaO watchmakers the star reflected on what life has been like for her since the death of her 26-year-old son.
“I’m a different person now than I was on January 19th,” shared a reflective King. “Grief is a journey, you know?”
“I understand that pain is a love that has nowhere to go,” King said, “and that we all deal with it differently.”
Ian Alexander Jr. was the only child of King and her ex-husband, music producer Ian Alexander. The exes got married in 1997 and were together for a decade before divorcing. According to multiple reports, Ian Jr. died by suicide shortly after celebrating his 26th birthday in 2022.
“I know it’s important for me to honor Ian and the totality of who he is,” King said in Thursday’s interview. She noted that she prefers to “talk about him in the present tense because he is always with me.”
King also spoke about his son’s mental health struggles.
“When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way and feel heavy,” she said, pausing to compose herself.
King continued: “To have to go through that and not be able to take the time to just accept Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand, that he didn’t want to be here anymore – that’s a hard thing for people to accept. because they didn’t live our experience. They didn’t live Ian’s journey.”
The actress admitted she was “very angry with God” for giving Ian “that burden” of depression.
“All the things we went through, the therapy and the psychiatrists and the programs and he just, Ian said, ‘I’m tired of talking, Mom,’” she recalled. “What I love most about myself is being Ian’s mother and I can’t say that with a smile, with tears, with all the emotions that come with that, I can’t do that if I don’t respect the journey.”
King stepped out on Sunday at the 96th annual Academy Awards to serve as one of the presenters as Da’Vine Joy Randolph won Best Supporting Actress. In honor of Ian, King used his favorite color, orange.
“Oh, it’s a trigger, for sure,” King told Roberts of his appearance at the awards show, where his son once served as his date. “Sometimes it just elicits a laugh, most of the time recently it elicits a smile, but sometimes the absence, the absence of it, is too loud.”
The star concluded by reflecting on the “guilt” she feels following Ian’s death.
“When a parent loses a child, you still wonder what I could have done to make it not happen,” she admitted. “I know I share this pain with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mother. Just me. And so, it’s mine and the sadness will never go away. It will always be with me, and I think I saw somewhere, ‘The sadness is a reminder of how much he means to me.'”
King released a statement at the time of Ian’s death, saying the family was “deeply devastated by the loss of Ian”. She added: “He is such a bright light who cares so deeply about the happiness of others. Our family requests respectful consideration during this private time.
In January 2023, on what would have been his 27th birthday, King took to Instagram for the first time since his death to honor his late son’s “worthy day.”
Sharing a video of a floating lantern gliding through the air in the dark, King wrote: “January 19th is Ian Day. While we still process his physical absence, we celebrate his presence.”
King went on to write, “We are all in different places on the planet… Ian too. Your spirit is the thread that connects us. Of course orange is your favorite color… It’s the fire and the calm. I see you in everything I breathe . My favorite thing about myself is being… Regina, the mother of Ian, the God King. Continue to shine, my guiding light. 🧡🧡🧡.”
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
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