Love is blindClay Gravesande is opening up about his journey on the reality television series.
Season 6 of the Netflix show brought many ups and downs for the 31-year-old entrepreneur and corporate salesman, when he fell in love with real estate agent Amber Desiree (“AD”). What seemed like a perfect match — and after Clay apparently did the work on himself — it was time for them to walk down the aisle and say “I do.” But fans (and AD) were left in shock during the wedding episode when Clay walked down the aisle and decided he wasn’t going to say “I do.”
“AD, I love you. I don’t think it’s responsible to say ‘I love’. But I want you to know that I’m crushing it with you… I know perfectly well that I’m not ready for marriage,” he said.
On Thursday, Clay appeared on The Tamron Hall Showwhere he talked about his last minute decision not to marry AD.
“We had a really good last two weeks of our relationship,” Clay told Tamron. “You know, we’ve had a lot of ups and downs, but the last two weeks (have been) really good. We really got to a point where we could see ourselves as a couple. I think for me, Tamron, it was just watching her walk down the aisle, it really hit me like this was actually real. And I think I became pessimistic – I didn’t trust the process. I didn’t trust myself, and ultimately I made the decision. I said, ‘I don’t think I’m a husband, and I didn’t want to make her go through nothing’”.
Clay explained that he felt like he was going to commit to marriage in those days and up until the moment when it would be time to say the two words AD was hoping to hear. However, he ultimately decided that the time was not right.
“You know, it’s funny you say it’s a short walk (down the hallway), I honestly felt like it took forever. I felt like every step she took, I’m just fighting with myself,” he said. “So honestly, it kind of dragged on and you’re having these thoughts in your head — you know how things could be internally when you’re just struggling with your inner demons.”
Clay added that he was even talking to himself as AD walked down the hallway.
“Essentially,” he recalled Tamron thinking at the time. “’Clay, you know, you’re not that guy. You know it’s not, you know, a husband.’ It was a difficult realization because you want to show up and at the end of the day, I put on a tuxedo, I was ready to be a husband that day.”
Clay was joined by his mother, Margarita Gravesande, who shed more light on her son’s decision and how the conversation with his father about his infidelity may have impacted her.
“Well, you have to understand, as a mother, when I looked at him, my heart broke,” Margarita told Tamron. “And I knew exactly at that moment what was happening, because I saw it on his face. He wanted to be in a relationship, he wanted to get married, but I also felt like he was dealing with a lot of emotions that really (weren’t) his to deal with. And unfortunately, I didn’t know what I didn’t know until the end, and I never said anything to my ex-husband that I knew because that was his story to tell him.”
Revisit Clay and AD’s Love is blind season 6 journey below.
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