Jimmy Allen had dark thoughts during a scandal-filled period in his life. In a recent conversation with Katie Lee Gifford – which the country singer released in your YouTube channel on Tuesday – Allen, 38, remembers contemplating suicide when his former manager sued him for sexual assault.
In May 2023, Allen’s day manager, who was identified only as Jane Doe in her lawsuit, alleged that the singer raped her and repeatedly subjected her to sexual abuse and harassment over the course of 18 months.
At the time, in a statement to ET provided by his lawyer, Allen admitted to have had a “sexual relationship” with the woman suing him, but said it was consensual for almost two years.
In his conversation with Gifford, Allen said he was “looking for instant gratification from women” during his affair, before discussing details about the situation.
“She was my day-to-day manager, so she was with me everywhere I went. So, to make her feel better, we would start dating again,” he said.
Allen stated that he “absolutely (didn’t) want” a relationship with the woman, but admitted, “I should have seen that she was into me. For me, even if it was just physical, I think for her it was getting emotional.”
When the lawsuit was filed, Allen said he was “upset” and “confused and heartbroken.”
“This is someone who has become a friend,” he said. “…I knew it was wrong because I’m in a relationship. That’s why I’m willing to take responsibility…For a long time, in my head, I remember thinking, ‘As long as I’m supporting my wife and my children, I have the freedom to do what I want.’ That’s not the right mindset. It’s wrong. I made a commitment that I should have kept or ended.
The legal action – which Jane Doe has since fallen – came in the middle Allen’s separation It is eventual divorce archive of Alexis Gale, who was pregnant with her third child at the time. Gale – who is also mum to Naomie, 3, and Zara, 2 – welcome son Cohen in October 2023. Allen is also father to Aadyn, who was born in 2015 to a woman Allen has never publicly named, and twin babies with his longtime friend, Danielle. Amid the accusations, Allen thought about one main thing: his family.
“I was sitting there and literally felt like the whole world had collapsed. Because the first thing my brain thinks about isn’t career, it’s ‘How am I going to support my kids?’ why he then considered the idea of suicide.
“It dawned on me. My life insurance covers suicide,” he said. “I don’t feel that way now, but at that moment, when you feel like you have nothing in the middle of a society where you are no longer innocent until proven guilty… (people think) she said that, so it must be true .”
With that in mind, Allen “moved everything to a phone – all my evidence, photos, text messages, videos, everything… (and then) I was putting bullets in the magazine of my gun.”
However, a message from his friend arrived at the right time.
“My friend Chuck texted me… He said, ‘Breaking up is not the answer.’ When I read those words… I just stopped,” Allen said. “I remember I called one of my friends… He showed up. I gave him my gun. He said, ‘Take it. I don’t need her.’ My mother arrived and I started receiving calls from several artists asking me, saying they loved me, that they cared about me, that they knew who I was. Then I started receiving calls from people I didn’t even expect. Some of the biggest actors in Hollywood that I’ve been a fan of for years – I’ve never met – somehow got my phone number and called me.”
For all the support Allen received amid the drama, there were also “people I was hoping to hear from but didn’t.”
“That’s what hurt so much,” he said. “…I didn’t think it would hurt as much as it did, to have people who I thought were my friends just leave, but thanks to you, other friends in the business, my family, I got through it. It was it was hard.”
From there, Allen went to a mental health retreat and received therapy, but the suicidal thoughts continued.
“Every day, I remember fighting: Do I want to live? Don’t I want to live?” he remembered. “When the bills are due. I think, ‘Man, my family would have X amount of dollars if I had taken care of something,’ but I realized that’s not how it’s done.”
When a friend came with some money for Allen – help he needed due to missed offers amidst the scandal – things began to change.
“After a few months… I started looking at the situation differently. It was, ‘God, why is this happening to me?’ to ‘God, what should I learn?’ ” he said. “… I went from hating her to feeling a little bad for her, trying to understand what was going on in her life to why she needed to do this. How come I didn’t make myself available for a conversation about her feelings?”
Ultimately, the break was good for Allen. In fact, he said, “Honestly, it saved my life.”
Before the scandal, Allen said, he “turned to drugs” and “life felt like a circus, all because I couldn’t be honest with myself about who I was and what I wanted,” both personally and professionally. Now, however, Allen said he “is happier than ever.”
Going forward, he said, “(I want) to continue to be honest with myself and everyone else.”
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
RELATED CONTENT: