A man who admits he has developed “a bit of a gut and a love situation” asks for advice after getting into a “standoff” with his girlfriend over his weight – as he accuses her of simply “lacking” his “mannequin physique” ”.
A former full-time male model turned to the internet for advice after his girlfriend identified his current weight gain and accused him of “giving up” on his dream.
The OP (aka the “original poster”) shared his story on Reddit’s AITA (“I’m the Idiot”) forum, telling the forum that he’s gained weight but wouldn’t mind the additional pounds. Your other half, however, seems to care about it loads bigger than him – triggering points in your relationship.
Read on to see what happened and how Redditors reacted.
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OP began to explain his situation by remembering how he got his dream position in the metropolis of New York.
“I am (M23) a dummy in New York. After I turned 19, I got an excellent contract opportunity and moved to New York, mainly to live in my dream job. I’ve been dating my girlfriend (F23) for two years, but we’ve been partners for longer, so she knew this was my dream. Now I’m working as a freelance model,” he said, before sharing that his modeling jobs have died down.
“Last year I gained a little weight. Nothing outrageous, but I no longer have abs and now I have a little intestine. I’m 6’1 and used to weigh about 160, but now I weigh about 190. I think it’s probably related to the fact that I’ve also gotten a lot less modeling work in the last year. To make up for the lack of income, I got a part-time job hosting at a restaurant,” OP continued, before sharing how her girlfriend addressed her weight gain.
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“A few nights ago, my girlfriend talked to me about my weight gain, the first time we talked about it. She was worried that I was giving up on my dream by getting carried away, and didn’t want me to find myself with a belly full of beer,” he said.
“I’m really happy simply working hosting work, it’s less anxiety and I have a more consistent schedule. I told her that, but she said I was bottling it up and giving up when I didn’t have to. I instructed her that I didn’t care about gaining weight and that she shouldn’t mess with my physique. She kept insisting that I should care a little more. I then told her that she simply missed my model body, and she suffered harm from it, saying that I was accusing her of being superficial,” he said, adding that the pair have literally been at an “impasse” since speaking out about that.
“I don’t think I fully believe that she’s really just looking for my desires,” he concluded, before asking, “Am I the idiot for not caring?”
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He added a few additional bullet points to the bottom of his original post to ensure responders had all the information.
“INFO: My girlfriend was already in New York when I started courting her. She loves New York, but I think she probably would have left for financial reasons if it weren’t for my modeling career,” he added.
“I just gained a lot of weight last year,” he added. “I’m 193 pounds now, and the load has set in as a gut and love handles scenario. It’s mostly a result of less gym membership and beer.”
With over 1,200 upvotes and over 320 comments, Reddit decided that neither the boyfriend nor the girlfriend were completely in the wrong and there were no A-Holes here (NAH).
“NAH. I can see her perspective,” began the top comment with over 3,000 upvotes.
“On her side, you are doing a job you always dreamed of, which should have required a lot of work to succeed. Now you’re doing work that from an outside perspective seems less interesting and has fewer prospects, and there’s been a similar weight gain,” the Redditor added, saying that they think their girlfriend might believe that OP might be “depressed, losing motivation and so on and are nervous because you may be out of options” because added weight.
“I would say it’s the role of a life partner to at least get in touch with the base when they witness a major life change like this. I can totally see how this might upset you… But I don’t assume she’s essentially being superficial in asking what is happening”, they added.
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Another commenter asked if OP is thinking about changing careers.
“NAH. HOWEVER. As someone who works in the restaurant industry for a young person like yourself, I can see hosting as a stepping stone for you. Many artists, performers and fashions work as hosts/servers/bartenders to help themselves while pursuing their dreams. Are you hosting because you want a career in restaurants? Are you happier because life is less anxious or because life is now ‘easier,’” the Redditor asked.
“NAH, it looks like you were a model and loved it and now you’ve discovered something else you also like and that job has different physical requirements than the job you had,” added another.
“However, I think your girlfriend is not mistaken and that her appearance will impress her ability to continue working in the modeling industry,” they continued, adding to the level-headed responses.
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“NTA. First, it’s your body, and if you’re happy with it, and never complain about it all the time (and don’t do anything about it), then it’s your choice,” read another comment, which identified the “very restricted lifespan ” for almost all models. “I’m not sure if hosting is that thing, but you’re branching out and trying other things, and figuring out what you need/don’t like,” they added.
“She couldn’t not mention it either,” that person added. “Maybe she’s wondering if you really are more dedicated to this world, you don’t say if she’s part of that world, but when she is, and she’s deeply dedicated to it, you may simply be forming in your lives, where the paths may begin to diverge. No person is dangerous or AH for that reason – it’s just part of life.”
What do you suppose?
