Describing the letters of a recently convicted killer as “something long-distance lovers would write to each other,” the person turns to the internet to find out what to do — and is met with recommendations and hypotheses about the notorious killer.
A man is worried that his girlfriend’s curiosity about true crime podcasts and documentaries may be spilling over into the real world after discovering a field of letters from her obvious prison pen pal.
Taking to Reddit’s Relationship Recommendations discussion board, the anonymous man said he immediately recognized who was writing to his girlfriend — noting that the prisoner had admitted to his murders — and has since become uncomfortable around her.
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At the same time, he doesn’t necessarily need to throw the connection away, so what he needs to know is, “How can we solve this?”
Read on to find out what he discovered and how it impacted everything.
Notorious True Crime Pen Pal
OP (“Authentic Poster”) began by sharing that he (29M) and his girlfriend (28F) had been dating for over a year. “We’ve gotten really critical over the last 6 months or so, to the point where we’ve tried on flats and even picked out a few options,” he wrote. He then added that he’s even “started casually looking at rings.”
“Honestly, I really feel like she’s the one for me. She’s sensible, gorgeous, humorous, liked by pretty much everyone she meets, and overall the most effective person I’ve ever met, not to mention a great girlfriend,” he shared.
Things changed, however, when he stayed at her house while she was sick and stumbled upon a shoebox he had never seen before. Inside were envelopes sent to his girlfriend from a prison in another state. He said she had been so open about her life that he found it “so strange” that he had not known any of it.
He also noted that the letters were dated before their relationship, while “the most recent was about 3 months ago.” With only half the story, since whatever she might have sent was missing, OP described the letters he looked at as “very… affectionate? For lack of a better term. Like something long-distance lovers would write to each other.”
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While he’s not as into true crime documentaries and podcasts as his girlfriend, OP, he nevertheless “recognized this man’s name pretty quickly.” Without naming names, he wrote, “his case was big and very current, like in the last 5 years, and he brutally killed his pregnant wife and several children. He even confessed, for crying out loud.”
Because of this, the actual fact that his girlfriend “talked to him like that is really f—ing with my head.” He stated that he read 3 or 4 of the letters and “they really made me sick.” But then, he put everything back the way he had found it and left his girlfriend’s house, without ever saying a word about it.
However, it’s impacting their day-to-day lives now, with the OP saying he hasn’t been spending time with her, but also finding himself making “excuses about why he’s too busy to spend much time with her.”
“Honestly, I really need to talk to her about this, but I’m afraid she’ll lie or… I don’t know, I’m much more afraid that she’ll just tell me the truth and expect me to be okay with it?” he admitted.
He brutally killed his pregnant wife and some young people. He even confessed, for God’s sake.
He said he doesn’t need to end the relationship over this, but he doesn’t know what to do. “I really see a future with this girl, I love her with all my heart,” he wrote. “But how do I get through this? Is there some part of this that I’m not thinking about?”
He then preempted those who might say, “Just talk to her,” admitting, “I know this is logically the most effective plan, but at the same time, what if she confesses to being in love with a sick killer? This guy murdered his entire family in cold blood, how could she even think of writing to him, let alone THOSE types of letters? Maybe it’s just morbid curiosity on her part? And if I just talk to her about it, what do I say? How do I even broach the subject?”
He then preempted any dishonest feedback, emphasizing that he doesn’t assume she has or would do that. “I don’t know if I even think of it as dishonest because it’s just letters and they’re never going to realistically meet face to face,” he added. “But just the concept that she would need to correspond with this man is repugnant to me.”
He asked, “How can I talk to her about this and how can I work past my own discomfort with this whole situation?”
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Talk about hard times
As he made clear in his post, the OP wasn’t thrilled about ending the connection, which is why when one commenter wrote, “Break up with her. Easy,” he responded, “Shouldn’t I at least tell her what I found out and how it makes me feel and give her a chance to explain herself?”
“She was/is having an emotional affair with this individual and she or he, like many other killer-glorifying lunatics, is fantasizing about him while watching you,” the commenter speculated, adding that he would lie “to ease your concerns.”
This got to his head, because the OP then admitted: “I hate the idea that she lied to me about this, but after finding out that she was hiding it from me completely, I think it might be possible that she’s a bigger liar than I ever thought possible.”
It was then instructed that perhaps the OP could broach the subject obliquely. “Ask her if she has any hobbies or activities that you don’t know about, since you’d like to share a curiosity. Or if she’s ever identified anyone who was well-known or notorious,” one commenter instructed. “See what she says. If she doesn’t give up the pen pal, you have your answer.”
Unfortunately, there are some sick people who are interested in murderers.
In the feedback, the OP questioned whether this would actually be considered “emotional cheating,” sharing, “I did some research and I think this man gets letters from a lot of female ‘admirers.'”
“Unfortunately, there are some sick people who are into murderers. It sounds like your girlfriend is one of those ‘groupies,’” one Redditor wrote, encouraging him to end things. “Minus the murderer factor, she is emotionally dishonest with you with this man.”
They then urged him to come clean again about what he had discovered and confront her, suggesting he let her know: “I find it deeply disturbing that you are basically writing love letters to a convicted and confessed murderer.” The commenter added: “I know it’s simple for people here to say ‘block her and never speak to her again’, but it seems like it’s wise to know why in order to get the proper closure. Just be prepared, the reason probably won’t make you feel any better.”
It seemed like the OP was afraid to actually have that conversation with his girlfriend, admitting in a single comment: “I don’t know if I can really look at her the same way again until she has some really legitimate reason for the correspondence.”
One commenter noted, “For example, her letters are 100% harmless. That leaves you with a girlfriend who keeps writing to a murderer who talks to her in a really inappropriate way. She’s not closing this off.” OP puzzled, however, whether this could be considered a real friendship, or “just writing as some kind of weird hobby??”
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After all, many in the comments were also trying to guess who the convicted killer is, with the OP saying he wasn’t saying the name because he didn’t want to risk his post being blocked, “but I think I gave enough details for you to figure it out,” including another in the comment that he’s “a whole decade older than her.”
“Is your girlfriend writing letters to Chris Watts?” one Redditor asked, with many agreeing. Another agreed: “I’m putting money on Chris Watts. Searching and talking to a person for years who killed your family and threw them away like trash is sick as hell.”
“I’m curious about true crime, but I have NO curiosity about talking to any of the criminals,” they added, “particularly one who can look at a child and choose to end their life. There is something mentally flawed with this woman.”
“Like everyone else, I think it’s Chris Watts,” another commented. “I’m a true crime girl too and was pretty involved in this case when it was happening. Never in a BAJILLION years would I have considered writing for him.”
One person told the OP to be careful with Reddit recommendations because they are usually teenagers and individuals who think “it’s best to walk away from any situation immediately.” They informed him that he only had a few choices: stay away and walk away, or talk about it and see what happens. Furthermore, they inspired the OP to act sooner rather than later because “overthinking is actually harmful!”
Finally, OP admitted: “Yeah, I feel like maybe just biting the bullet and trying to talk to her about it is the only real possibility. I don’t think I have the guts to just abandon her and move on without giving her a reason or at least hearing her out.”
What do you think?
