Their mother says her eldest son “found my youngest son playing with his brother’s playmate”, causing “destruction” in the family – now she is seeking advice after discovering the cheaters are getting married.
A distraught mother is feeling torn after being caught in the middle between her two children.
The unnamed lady turned to Reddit Recommendations Discussion Forum after discovering a huge betrayal that not only destroyed the connection between her children, but also shook the family dynamic.
Now faced with a choice that could change her family — and her relationship with her eldest son — forever, the OP (aka “Original Poster”) is wondering what to do, and boy, did Redditors weigh in.
Read on to find out the full story.
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Story of two brothers
It all started with an act of kindness. In need of a place to live, the OP’s young, single son, 25, decided to ask his older brother, 30, if he could rent a room from him and his girlfriend of six years. They usually let him.
“A few months after this association, my youngest son began a relationship with this girlfriend on the sly. You don’t understand, the worst situation happened and my oldest son caught my youngest son playing with his brother’s partner,” the OP wrote. “I can’t go into detail about the devastation and crushing that this precipitated.”
Comparing it to a death within the family, the 50-year-old mother of two added: “I just can’t express properly how big this destruction of my family is.”
Wedding ceremony bells
It’s been a little over 12 months since their secret relationship was discovered, but OP says the pain it caused her eldest son and the entire family is still very fresh.
What’s worse is that in the last two or three weeks, she discovered that not only were her youngest son and her oldest son’s ex-girlfriend in love, but they were also engaged.
“I believe I have hyperempathy syndrome and all I can think about is the pain and suffering my oldest son might feel when he finds out about this development… he really liked that woman,” the OP wrote, before taking to Reddit to ask what to do.
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“My question is this: Should I tell my oldest son that his brother and his ex-girlfriend are engaged and planning to get married, or should I just let him learn this information on his own…?” she asks.
“For some reason, I really feel like it would be more respectful to let him know, rather than him finding out later through a friend of a family friend,” she continued. “Or is that an insensitive strategy and would it simply reopen a wound that is still healing? Thank you in advance for any real advice I get.”
Reddit’s overwhelming response
“I honestly think telling him is best. Then you’ll be able to control the time, place, and method by which he finds out. When you leave it to chance, he might find out right before an important event or on an already stressful day,” one commenter wrote. “Or he might find out in a devastating way in public, with no space to catch his breath.”
The comment continued: “If I were you, I would pick maybe a Friday to invite him to dinner and let him know. That means he has the weekend to recover before he has to go back to work. You could even offer to spend some time with him over the weekend to help him get his mind off of it. Others might have completely different opinions, but if I were in his shoes, that’s what I would need.”
Others supported this, with another commenter including, “OP, please don’t enact another scenario where relatives kept secrets from him.”
Following up on the previous comment, one Redditor pointed out a form of urgency in the matter, telling the OP that the sooner she tells her son, the better. “Also, I would let him know this week before it’s too late.”
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Another, meanwhile, famously said that right now, OP should put her oldest child first, including, “Doubling down on this one – your youngest child has destroyed your entire lives. I know you love him, but you don’t have to love him right now. Your oldest child wants you more than anything right now. Be there for him.”
Another person claimed that the mother should “downplay her youngest son and go[No Contact]because he is an absolute piece of trash.” They added, “How the hell do you think it’s okay for him to do this to his brother? Your oldest son wants someone by his side and you’re talking like it’s just okay for his little brother to do this to him. You 100% should not be going to this wedding ceremony.”
OP responded, clarifying that she is “disgusted” by her son’s habits.
“I have never in my life been ashamed of my son or who he is until this happened. It’s like I never knew him and he’s a sudden stranger,” she wrote. “My family is gone, I have 2 children who are no longer siblings. My oldest son will never be able to trust another human being with his emotions again, which robs him of future happiness and contentment – this makes me furious!!”
She added that her support is fully behind her eldest son, before concluding: “It really sucks to find out that someone you love and care for is such a disappointing and shameful human being. I just don’t understand what his father and I did wrong.”
What do you think?