Two college students get into a fight over a job that one of them thinks is a waste of money — while the other continues to sink deeper and deeper after calling her friend poor.
An unnamed girl doesn’t understand why her friend is mad at her after she called her poor.
The academic shared her story on Reddit’s popular AITA (“Am I the A–hole”) forum to see if she was somehow wrong after the two girls argued over a service offered by the college.
The OP (aka “the original author”) uses the service, but his friend thinks it’s a waste of money.
Read on to find out what prompted OP to report her friend’s financial situation and where things stand now.
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OP set up her story by noting that she, 20, and her friend, 21, are college students at a college. She explained, “I’m enrolled in the college’s laundry program, where I pay a set amount, and they do my laundry for me year-round.”
This system, she explained, could be pretty standard in college, with laundry being picked up weekly from her dorm. Her friend, however, is “weirdly obsessed” with the whole thing, in response to the OP, who stated that she “consistently gives feedback on this for some reason.”
“She always comes up and sees my bag, and has some random comment to say,” OP wrote. “She’ll say, ‘How can someone pay for that?’ To which I always say, ‘Why would I do something I don’t want to do, when I can just pay someone else to do it for me?’”
Why would I do something I don’t need to do if I can just pay someone else to do it for me?
OP then mused, “I’m wondering if she’s like this with everyone, as it might shed some light on why she has so few members. Almost everyone I know uses the laundry program. Her unwanted comments make me like her even less.”
The breaking point came after one more comment to OP. She wrote that her friend told her, “What a waste of money. The laundry program is ridiculously expensive, and no one can afford it.”
“I just said that I don’t think it’s expensive at all, and that she thinks it’s expensive because she’s poor. I’m not, so I’m going to keep paying for this system,” OP wrote. She said her friend is now “furious that I called her poor. But she is. It’s just a reality.”
So she needs to know, “AITA for reminding my friend that just because she’s poor doesn’t mean I am too?”
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OP wasn’t finding much in the way of sympathy in the feedback, though her friend wasn’t exactly as well received, either. The top commenter argued ESH (“Everybody Sucks Right Here”), writing, “She’s clearly jealous and resentful, and you clearly have no empathy, are snobbish, and never care or are smart enough to handle this with any knowledge or grace.”
“Stating someone’s lack of sources is not formal. Did you earn this money or did your parents actually pay for it?” they asked the OP before adding, “I’m surprised you have any associates as well.”
“My thoughts precisely,” echoed another Redditor. “I really hate it when kids rely on their mom or dad’s wealth as their own and also hold their mom or dad’s lack of wealth against someone.” Another commented, “Kids of the rich – born on third base and suppose they hit a triple.”
I am a college student. My parents are supposed to ‘subsidize’ me.
When one individual joked that the OP is “poor too lol, your parents just subsidize you”, the OP retorted: “No, socioeconomic status is based on your loved ones, unless they disown you or something. We’re upper middle class. And I have savings/investments in my own name since childhood.”
She argued: “My mom and dad take really good care of me and would never let me pay. I’ve always suspected my friend is jealous because her parents aren’t supportive, and she doesn’t like them. But I really feel like she should know better than to tell others what they can afford. It’s rude to talk about money in any way, honestly.”
With all the attacks on her lack of information about the privilege afforded to her by her parents, with one going as far as to say that she is a poor person “supported” by her parents, OP commented: “I am a student. My parents are supposed to ‘subsidize’ me. They wouldn’t be great parents if they didn’t. And I have had a lot of savings/investments in my own identity since childhood.”
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One famous person OP stated “in my own identity” multiple times, which they interpreted as “meaning you contributed zero to these savings/financial investments, they were simply given to you.” Another tried to explain to OP: “This is known as privilege. Not everyone seems to be as lucky. There are social determinants of wealth, identical to an individual’s well-being.”
With most people using the phrase “entitled” to describe OP, some suggested she could have handled the situation with her friend better without resorting to calling her poor.
“This isn’t onerous. ‘I hate doing laundry and I’m lucky I have the money to hire someone else. I got it, you think it’s a waste of money. I don’t care what you think of my laundry. Stop giving me a f–k about it,’” one wrote. “You can shut her down hard without calling her poor.”
Children of the rich – born on third base and assuming they hit a triple
One person reminded the OP that “college is the first time they are exposed to really completely different lives, economic class structures, and upbringings. You both would learn from each other. Neither of you chose the backgrounds you came from.”
“I used to agree with ESH, but after reading your extremely entitled and self-centered comments, I want you to know that you’re leaning towards YTA and boy are you in for a surprise of a lifetime,” wrote one Redditor.
“I’m guessing OP is a really nasty, ‘I’m just being honest’ type of person, or a ‘No offense, but you’re poor’ type of person,” another commented. “She hides behind the ‘I’m just being honest and stating a reality’ because she thinks it covers up her cruelty. It doesn’t.”
The takeaway for many was, “Your friend sucks for harping on this, but you suck for calling her poor.” And many said they started out leaning toward ESH, “but OP is so insufferable in the comments I’m getting YTA.”
What do you think?