A young bride is left distraught after her personal outburst following an unexpected proposal before her wedding led to her being called “too spiteful” — did she go too far or not far enough?
An unnamed lady has taken to the web after completely losing her temper with her father and stepsister at a cafe during lunch. She was left worried after her father called her “too spiteful” for the deal.
The bride shared her story on Reddit’s popular AITA (“Am I the A–hole”) discussion board to find out exactly what. Was her response justified considering what had just been asked of her? Or was her response excessive?
OP (aka “the original author”) also detailed her family background and relationships, which only fueled Redditors’ strong response to the situation she finds herself in.
Read on to find out her story, her explosive response, and where things stand now.
Getty
Bride decides not to invite sister to wedding ceremony after ‘big scene’ at engagement party
View story
The anonymous 25-year-old began her story with some family background. She shared that her mother died when she was 10, and two years later her father married a girl who had an 11-year-old daughter. “Dad went from being a normal but not very nice father to me to focusing so much on his stepdaughter that there were times when he forgot about me,” OP wrote.
She then provided just a few examples of how this ultimately led to an estrangement between the half-sisters, too. “After an incident where he actually left me behind at a mall in another state, he acted like he felt so bad that he took me out as an apology on his stepdaughter’s birthday,” she explained.
“From that day on, she and I couldn’t stand each other anymore and, in fact, we didn’t really want each other, we each needed the other to go away and we avoided each other whenever possible.”
I asked him if he would choose her wedding over mine and he said yes.
According to OP, her stepsister advised her, “I didn’t deserve an apology because she wanted his consideration and love more than I did.” She mentioned that there were two more related incidents where her father would apologize to her and her stepsister would be hurt. But ultimately, OP said, “I got used to being the one he put last.”
She mentioned that she distanced herself from him when she went to school. “After a few years, he realized this was happening and begged and pleaded with me to try to forgive him,” she wrote.
“I let him know how much it hurt him to prioritize his stepdaughter so much,” she continued. “I brought up the fact that I was left behind. The fact that he would promise me a certain gift and then give it to his stepdaughter instead. Every time he took time off work to help her, and he missed all of mine. I told him how that made me feel and that it made me not need him around after a while.”
After this exchange, OP mentioned that things had gotten better “in the last three years especially.” She felt like her dad was showing up more for her. But then… the wedding.
Getty Inventory Images
Girl manages to cancel stepdaughter’s son’s bath after discovering secret marriage
View story
OP was shocked when her stepmother and stepsister (whom she refers to only as “her stepdaughter” in her story) joined them for lunch. “We were talking about my upcoming wedding and he asked me to change the date because his stepdaughter wants to lead her wedding this year and the only date is the same as mine,” she explained.
“His stepdaughter mentioned that her father has to be at her wedding ceremony since he is giving her away, and if I want him to do the same, which he has already agreed to, I would like to change it or he will go to hers,” OP wrote. When asked if this was true, her father told her, “It doesn’t have to be.”
“I asked him if he would choose her wedding ceremony over mine and he said yes,” she revealed. “Then I advised him to f–k off and forget about coming to my wedding ceremony. Then I looked at his stepdaughter’s smug, silly face and advised her to enjoy my dad since hers never wanted her and never loved her, but at least mine had been good to me before her. I also advised that I hope my stepsister’s dad comes back and she dumped him for the real one since he dumped me for a fake one.”
The result was that the OP’s father “texted me dozens of times after lunch saying that I reacted very meanly and that his stepdaughter did nothing wrong and that I made her cry in a cafe full of people.”
So she wanted to know: “AITA for telling my dad to f–k off and throwing his stepdaughter’s dad in her face?“
Getty
Wife Admits She’s Starting To Resent Husband After He Lands Dream Job And Tells Him To Stop
View story
The favorite twist about this story started out just hoping the whole story was made up. “I actually hope this is a fake post because I can’t think that the only date the stepdaughter could have chosen needed to be the same one you chose for your wedding.”
Be that as it may, they then insisted, “It seems like it’s time to block your father if he chooses your stepdaughter after this,” they continued. “I’m so sorry your mother passed away, I’m a mother and I’m sending you digital hugs. I hope your future in-laws will welcome you and love you as you deserve.”
OP responded that she was pretty sure it was “so deliberately done by her.” She explained, “She had months to decide if she was going to get married this year. She just wanted to make it an option again and he chose to. She’ll be able to keep him now and he’ll forget I exist. My future ILs are so sweet and I have my grandmother who is the perfect one and I’m seeing more and more how amazing she is.”
Another person suggested in response to this: “Maybe it’s time to start a new custom where you get gifts from your grandmother.”
I think the previous father wanted DRAMA with every daughter and stepdaughter preventing for his love. The father is a big loser previous
OP mentioned that her grandmother (her mother’s mother) will definitely be there, and she or he had even initially planned for her grandmother to walk her down the aisle, but it was her grandmother who inspired her to ask her father. “I should have gone with the adult dream instead of the child dream,” OP admitted. “At least now I know. She was so upset with him for me too and she or he is planning to make sure this wedding is the best it can be.”
OP responded in another comment simply to how critical she was about wanting to cut ties with her father, writing, “I blocked him, deleted his number, and removed him from my social media.” Her final response: “We’re strangers after this. They don’t feel like my family. Two of them never were and one threw me away for someone else.”
As for her belief that her half-sister booked the same date on purpose, Reddit couldn’t help but agree. “How shocking, how did her dad not see that this was completed on purpose? I think he really loves her more,” one wrote, to which the OP responded, “That’s how it seems. Or at least he loves being with her mom more than he loves me, so he’s prepared to take care of anything to stay married.”
While OP didn’t point out her stepmother’s stance on any of this — or really much about her in any regard — that didn’t stop Reddit from speculating… and usually quite harshly. When someone asked why OP’s dad is so clearly favoring his stepdaughter, another Redditor responded, “Because her mom is f–king him, and if he doesn’t put his darling daughter first, she’ll make his life hell. I mean, come on, it’s always the stepmom pulling the strings.”
Getty
Man slams bedridden pregnant wife for making his life ‘longer than it should be’
View story
One individual questioned the father’s motives, going all the way back to his first mea culpa, as detailed in the OP’s story. “It virtually seems like the father deliberately pitted the OP and her stepsister against each other,” they wrote. “WHY did he need to make amends with the OP on the stepsister’s birthday? He practically poisoned their relationship.”
“I think the previous father wanted DRAMA with every daughter and stepdaughter fighting for his love,” another replied. “The previous father is a big loser.”
“This guy seems manipulative as hell,” one Redditor commented. “Like, affection isn’t a zero-sum recreation, he could have done this to his biological daughter without messing up his stepdaughter. Making up for it by missing a birthday seems like the logic of a 12-year-old. If this isn’t a fake post, then it seems like he wanted both of his daughters to compete for his affection and deliberately poisoned them against each other.”
The father undoubtedly took the brunt of the vitriol here. “What a spineless, cowardly person. Neglecting his own daughter. the daughter of the girl he presumably loved who DIED,” one commenter wrote. “OMG I hope he somehow sees this post and all the comments calling him out on his idiotic self.”
The only thing different I wish you had told him is how embarrassed his mother would be.
However, beyond that, they had kind words for OP as she moved forward from this. “I can see the slow death of your hope that he’ll prioritize you too,” one said, looking through OP’s feedback on the post. “I wanted to offer you validation from a stranger for what you already know. You don’t need to keep questioning it anymore, you guys were on a redemption arc in your father-son relationship, and it sounds like it was very conditional. I hope you’re surrounded by people who love you on your wedding day.”
“Your response may not have been graceful, but you were purposely provoked,” another wrote, while another applauded her for “a totally applicable response. Pleased with you.” However, another added: “The only other thing I wish you had told him is how embarrassed your mother would be. Because I’m sure that’s not what she would have wanted for you.”
One Redditor didn’t hold back at all, writing: “NTA and I need to punch your dad, stepmom, and stepsister in the face.”
What do you think?