If only IHOP stood for “Imaginary House of Pancakes.” Then I wouldn’t have to eat anything today.
Unfortunately, unlike the magical creatures in John Krasinski new children’s film, IHOP is very real. And the same goes for its new themed menu inspired by Krasinski’s IFwhich consists of four starters and two drinks.
Today I’m going to drink everything.
Now, you might be wondering: why would a person with multiple college degrees, two children, and no obvious death wish do such a thing? I ask myself this same question a lot. It all started a few years ago when, looking for a mea culpa to offer my boss after a mistake, I offered to eat everything at Denny’s The Fantastic Four menu. The live blog that captured my terrifying descent into the culinary Negative Zone received so much traffic that my boss demanded I repeat it whenever a major film received similar treatment from a chain restaurant.
So let this be a lesson to you, readers: never volunteer for anything. This only leads to misery. (Have you ever tried Thing Sauce? Because I have. And sometimes, late at night, I can still taste it.)
Denny’s was the champion of movie-associated food for a while; they had entire menus inspired by Independence Day: Resurgence, Solo: A Star Wars Story, and another. Nowadays, the non-imaginary International House of Pancakes offers the strangest meals linked to Hollywood cinema. At this point, they are inventing foods never before found in nature. The last time I was here was in December for your Timothée Chalamet themed menu Wonkawhich contained bizarre concoctions like purple pancakes, chocolate pancake tacos, and a cotton candy drink served in a rimmed glass with a liquid that would have been more appropriate for a menu linked to There’s something about Mary.
If the IHOP commercial IF-Stravaganza is reliable, it does not appear to contain any food that resembles bodily fluids. Then again, he does include “dazzleberry” pancakes, a sandwich made of French toast and a “pizza omelette.” So I’m going to have quite a day.
SEE MORE INFORMATION: I ate everything at IHOP’s Wonka Menu too
We’ll get into all of this as we travel deeper and deeper into a pit of self-loathing and despair – er, I mean, IHOP IF menu. As I settle into my booth at one of New York’s best IHOPs and order my first dish, I leave you with this question…
What IF… Did I eat about 5,000 calories worth of pancakes, toast sandwiches, and bomb sodas?
Let’s find out, shall we?
STAY UP TO DATE FOR THE LATEST UPDATES ON MATT’S LATEST MOVIE MEAL.
A brief history of the food associated with the film
How cinema fell in love with restaurant chains (and vice versa)…