A dispute over new medical tips for babies leads to domestic drama that spills over onto social media… resulting in even more embarrassment for parents.
A young mother turned to the internet for advice after a row with her own mother.
The story, posted on an anonymous forum, featured a 23-year-old struggling to navigate boundaries with her mother after returning to her childhood home – bringing her 24-year-old husband and six-month-old son along.
After all, disputes arose over the upbringing of the babies – resulting in drama that eventually spilled over onto Reddit.
The story seemed to divide many on the forum, with plenty of parental advice being doled out along with some empathy from those who may be related to the challenges the original poster (aka “OP”) faced.
Read on to see how it all worked.
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The exclusive Reddit post
OP started the post by sharing some basic information: “My husband (M24) and I (F23) welcomed our son (M) in September last year. We moved from his hometown to mine (in January) in hopes of saving as much as buying a house. We went to live with my mother (50); something to which she agreed very enthusiastically.
“Throughout our months, she’s been a little strange,” she explained. “She’s always checking to see if he has teeth, pushing for us to stop feeding him milk, she tries to offer him really fancy meals (like sweet yams). Her protection is: I did it to you and you survived.”
“More recently, she was holding him and jokingly asking if he wanted water, and I said, ‘Don’t give him water, Mom.’ She starts to introduce him and says, ‘See, he’s wonderful. He is not useless.
She is not talking to me now and told me that I made her feel like a nasty mother or father and grandfather.
So I got here the OP’s quick answer.
“I immediately took my baby away from her and told her that she would not take care of the baby herself as she is constantly overstepping my boundaries and doing everything I ask her not to do.”
“She’s not talking to me now and told me I made her feel like a bad mother or father and grandfather.”
She then asked, “AITA (am I the idiot)? Is there anything I should do to get her to talk to me?
Two updates adopted.
“I pay half the mortgage, utilities, buy my own meals to prepare dinner. I don’t depend on her to take care of the children. I just want to clarify this since I’m seeing some comments about this,” wrote OP in the first “edit” of the post.
“For more context: my father has been diagnosed with kidney and lung cancer and may not be working,” she later added in another update. “He lives in a rehab that my mother pays for. Living with her was to help my husband and I save money; He also helps her because he can’t work.”
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‘This is known as survivor bias and it is harmful’… and different observations from Reddit
The post proved to be extremely popular – clearly hitting a nerve among young parents on Reddit.
The top-rated comment quoted the grandmother saying “he survived” and noted “That’s an extremely low standard for her to be satisfied with support.”
Which prompted this comment from a fellow Redditor: “Yes! This is known as survivor bias and it is harmful.”
While another was thrown down a dark lane of memories, writing: “Your comment reminded me of my grandmother’s funeral. The best any of his children could muster was ‘correctly…. She never beat us’ (…) A great compliment, and certainly one she received.”
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One Redditor seemed to exemplify the overwhelming response on the forum, which shouldn’t necessarily weigh in on family drama, but instead provide their own unsolicited medical advice. Specifically, whether or not babies can drink water or milk: “6/7 months, it is safe to give your baby water. You talked about milk, not components. If it’s cow’s milk, before a year is a big no-no.
Observation continued to reiterate these same factors in size.
OP responded to the Redditor, noting, “Thanks for this. It wasn’t the water part that bothered me, it was just the part where she did it, even when I asked her not to do it.
Elsewhere, she shared that her son “was breastfed and was never thrown into the water. I regularly feed him yams and sweet potatoes, but they are simple. My mother gave him yams boiled with sugar.”
OP also disclosed some of her interactions with the child’s doctor: “The pediatrician told us we didn’t want to give him water so early. He’s probably breastfeeding most of it; a bottle of components every now and then.”
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In another response, she clarified that she takes some of her mother’s advice to heart, writing, “I ask her for advice all the time and she has some good jewelry. I always inform her about my guidelines with my baby. I’m not saying I’m an expert on all child care, but she’s also not an expert on what’s best for the child I carried and pushed out.
“I pray that she has the greatest pleasure in having her first grandchild,” she added. “But now, I just want her to respect my boundaries. Show me that you can spend time with him and still know what I want as a mother.
Other comments on the post shared horror stories of friends’ children dying because dietary guidelines were not followed – showing the importance of following up-to-date medical advice.
Whereas some comments just asked why babies shouldn’t drink water, to which OP responded: “Water intoxication can occur if a child drinks an excessive amount of water. It is very helpful to attend until after 6 months, when the child can start to cope.”
Of course, when it came to actual advice to the question posed on the forum, most of the comments recommended that she move with her family to save her relationship with her own mother.
What do you think?
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